"Hey everyone. About that. Yeah, I apologize profusely for the absence of content over the past couple of days. I know how much you all look forward to "Mammal Mondays" where I showcase unlawfully cute and cuddly furballs from the aminal kingdom. (Yes I said aminal, not animal. Say it, it's funny.) Also, I know many of you woke up this morning expecting to indulge in "Surf 'n' Turf Tuesdays" where I show YOU where to find the best arthropod/bovine meat combos on Long Island. Sadly, there was no Surf 'n' Turf to be found.
But don't jump yet! Step back inside that window. I finally got in front of a judge this morning and don't have to go back until February 17th. So tomorrow we are totally back on schedule with "Wikileaks Wednesdays" where I will pick up where the now remanded Julian Assange left off. However, instead of publishing secret U.S. documents I will be publishing the locations of the select tobacco stores selling Pittsburgh rapper Wiz Khalifa's new brand of rolling papers. See you all tomorrow."